Who you are is not necessarily what you are

For this project, I decided to create a portrait of my mother. I considered layering different images of her, with the first being one from memory, and the rest being outlines based on photographs. In my sketchbook, you can see the beginning process of this. However, as I began this painting, I found myself dissatisfied with this idea. Compositionally, it just did not seem that it would work out. Additionally, simply layering outlines of her felt like a cop-out. I wanted my painting to better embody her personality. So, as I began color-blocking her face from memory, I allowed myself to be impulsive. My mind began to wander to my childhood experiences with my mother. Every year, we gardened and we would tenderly care for her hydrangeas, which are loosely painted in. My mother is a very happy and energetic woman, so I used a light yellow to outline her face and provide details along with the atmosphere, The use of yellow also aids in mimicking the difficulty we encounter with remembrance. Attempting to recall what someone's face looks like can almost be painful, much like straining to see the color yellow on a white background. In my formative years, my mom loved the color burgundy. Our couches were burgundy, as was our carpeted staircase and many of her clothes. So, I sporadically added that color in. After drawing and painting all of these elements, I diluted white gouache in order to create a film over the entire piece. Then, I submerged the painting in water and took a picture as it sat at the bottom of a pink-stained bathtub (the paint was not quite dry, so it stained the water). This picture is the first picture that you see. I was hoping that the water would degrade the painting more than it did. After wrapping the painting up in a towel to dry, the painting held the curves of the towel in its form. In holding the form of the towel, the painting embodied the experience of being wrapped, much like my mom embodies her past experiences, which determines how she approaches her life. So, I took some photographs of the altered form of the painting.